A letter to my friends. ? alliebolen

Throughout our lives, we gain and lose many relationships. Most of those relationships are the ones we hold with friends, or with significant others. Those are the relationships that feel a little less permanent than the relationships we hold with our family. From the moment we can first comprehend the meaning of ?friend? or ?boyfriend? and ?girlfriend?, we go through them like crazy. Some people only experience a few, and some many, but regardless of the quantity we have all had our own unique experiences with these people. If you can truly say that you have kept a childhood friendship as strong as the day you formed it, or can say that you and your significant other were each others ?firsts?, consider yourself blessed. That means that somehow, nature let you and that other person get your connection right the first time. But, most of us have many lessons we must learn through ourselves and through others to be able to hold a deep, lasting, and genuine connection with another.

Sometimes relationships die. It hurts us and when this happens, we all struggle to figure out why. Sometimes we are the ones who end them. Maybe we no longer feel the connection we used to have with a best friend or with a lover. Other times, a best friend or lover loses that connection with us. The blame of the death of these connections can never weigh entirely on one person?s shoulders, though, regardless of who ends it or who struggles to continue it. We all play an equally responsible role in the effort of keeping a relationship alive, and when that fails we all need to hold a little bit of that responsibility in order to truly learn from that relationship and to grow into ourselves even more. We need to use our share of the responsibility and take those lessons and apply them to relationships in our futures. Each and every one of us are on our own personal journeys, and along those journeys we meet people, love people, get to know people, and sometimes after that we grow apart from people, we hurt people, we are hurt by people. Sometimes there is a point in a relationship where two people no longer bring out the best in each other, so they grow apart. Sometimes they make mistakes and hurt each other, and sometimes nothing can resurrect that relationship and connection. No matter how hard we try, we need to accept that sometimes, no matter how important that relationship once was to us, it?s death was inevitable.

Learning to accept the death of my relationships and friendships with others has been a very hard thing for me to do. People I loved have hurt me, and I have hurt people I loved. I have grown apart from friends, the experiences we?ve had changing us. But we must keep faith that we will all continue to form special bonds with others in our lives. Some of those bonds will be temporary, some permanent, yet all of them will continue to be born and die and be born again. We might not have ever met the people we have in our lives if it wasn?t for the people we had in our past. The falling out of a friendship or the heartbreak we went through with a significant other will always pave the way for us to experience more lessons, to form more bonds, and to touch more lives. I wanted to write this and give myself an opportunity to acknowledge the impact that every relationship I?ve held had on me. A friend that I have grown apart from, a relationship with a significant other?each one has blessed me in ways that I am not sure I can even put into words. Maybe we hurt each other, or maybe we slowly faded from each others lives without an explanation. No matter what happened, though, I hold each of you in my heart and will cherish your impact for the rest of my life. I will always feel gracious for the connection we shared, even if that connection is nothing but a memory now.

In this way, we are all connected.

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