Editing for Depth

How to start? Well.... I guess I'll just tell you what this post is in the first place. I'm a fairly experienced writer. I'm not a succesful published novelist, I'm not even one of the best, but I've been at the point where I simply wrote what I thought, spellchecked it, then posted it and was done with it. Three years later, I'm looking over my stuff from back then and gagging.

But it made me think. What have I changed since then?

1. I've read a lot. And I haven't just stayed reading in my comfort zone - I've started reading epic poetry, classics, philosophy, politics, psychology, etc. I've been expanding my horizons, reading really good writers, and even learning from the really crappy ones.

2. I write something by hand, before I type it up if I have time. It makes me write slower, think more about what I'm about to say.

3. I started people watching. No, I'm not a creeper. I'm came across it in a book (The Weekend Novelist) and took it up. I paid attention to the idiosyncracies in peoples voices - catch phrases, personality, temper, did they avoid talking about themselves and was it subtle or obvious, etc. I paid attention to how they moved, how they treated and reacted to the people around them. I even spent an hour in a mall cafeteria watching people eat. It's amazing the variety of methods there are to get the food on your plate into the hole on your face. But my point is, if you're going to write about people, make an effort to understand them.

4. When I post something I write, I make sure I have clear paragraphs. Which means I indent, or put a blank space in between each paragraph. A solid block of text is overwhelming, disorganized, and actually messes with the flow of your writing. The paragraph breaks tell your mind that the story is changing subject, or moving forward, or something new is happening, or someone new is speaking.

5. Make a new paragraph everytime someone new speaks, or does something new.
i.e. "Hey, can I come over for dinner saturday night?"

Natasha fiddled with the phone cord a moment, thinking about it. Would her mom be okay with that? She bit her lower lip. "I dunno. Mom's pretty picky about these things."

"C'mon. Please?"

Natasha sighed. "Fine."

6. When designing a character, and writing the backstory, I take into account how the events in their past led up to who they are today. For example, one of my friends' RP characters was abused by her mother, and regularly locked in the bathroom for hours. To this day, her character is absolutely petrified of bath tubs, and is claustrophobic. Because of the claustrophobia, she could never sit through an entire class in high school and eventually dropped out. See how that works? So, if you're going to write about a character who grew up as an orphan in a gang, that person is not going to be frightened by violence and may even be comfortable with it. And they're going to be used to close friends dying. So when their best friend dies in the story, maybe it won't make them cry and mope - maybe they'll just get revenge, if that, and simply move on. Whatever your characters' past is - make sure it connects to who they are today, and plays a part in shaping their personality.

7. Don't use filler words. Uh, hm, eh, so, like, etc. These words do just that - fill up space. And they are a disgrace to your talent.

8. Avoid using forms of 'to be', 'to do', or 'to have'. It will strengthen your writing considerably, if you try to use better verbs. Obviously, you have to use them occasionally, but avoid them to the best of your ability.

9. Avoid using adjectives excessively. Try for better, stronger verbs if you can. Instead of saying the fluffy cat walked down the hall, you could say the cat meandered down the hallway, her fluff ruffling about in the breeze.

10. Diction, diction, diction, that is the word of the day, comrades. Diction means being picky about what words you use. When you're editing, look over what you've written, and when you've got words or phrases like 'a lot' (which is an incredibly incorrect term, and should never be used) instead be more precise. Say exactly what you mean. Say something along the lines of many, or a dozen, or tons of, or something else like that.

11. Sentence fragments. Read just one sentence aloud, and then stop at the period. Does it sound unfinished? It probably is. Finish it.

12. Use variety in your sentence length, structure and beginnings. Take a glance at books like the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy, and you'll realize that he tends to ramble on in 50+ word sentances, but then punctuates that with 10 word, and 2 word sentances for some oomph. That sudden drop in word count makes the sentence seem much more profound, and a variety will make your sentences stand out amongst each other. Also, vary your sentence beginnings. If every single sentence starts with And, The or But, you have a problem. This is what my English teacher calls Insert 21

13. SPELLCHECK. Oh my God, please, if you're not using a document, download Mozilla firefox, but please for the love of God, there is a reason dictionaries were created.

14. Hit the bridge. At least once each paragraph, insert a bridge word at the end of one of your sentances (bridge words are words like and, or, like, but, because) and continue with the thought. Deepen it.

15. Read it out loud. Does it sound right? If not, fix it.

16. MLA formatted citations. You can find a generator here at http://www.oslis.org/resources/cm/mlacitationss. I know, it sounds stupid, but it's an ethical thing. If you got inspiration, an idea, or a tip, or some little eensy weensy bit of information from someone, you need to cite it. It's important, because you're recognizing that what that person had to say was important to your success.

17. The oxford quote. When you list off a bunch of words, some teachers will have you put a comma between the second to last item and the and. Don't do it. The comma is a symbol for 'and' it is a bridge between two ideas. It would be stupid to say car and boot and and shoe, wouldn't it?

18. Go over your ideas, and ask questions about it. Try and milk out every sensory detail, everything you can from it. For example, take my sentence the cat walked down the hall. What hallway? Why is it walking? Why isn't it running? What kind of cat? What's the cat like? And then, instead of just saying the mean cat walked down the hall in Los Angeles, show it. Instead of saying the cat is mean, show the cat doing mean things and let the reader make its own conclusions on whether or not the cat is mean.

19. Avoid monologue like the plague. Monologue is internalized dialogue, but of just one character. Where the character goes on and on inside their head. Instead, externalize this. Instead of your character staring up at the menu, trying to decide what to eat, have them ask their mom for their opinion, and maybe they'll start arguing. And then, voila, you have a much more exciting little piece of writing.

20. There are two purposes to dialogue: to move the plot forward by feeding the reader information, and to move the plot forward through conflict. That's it. You do anything else, and you're just taking up space (this is with the exception of humour and entertainment writing). So, the secret to really spicy dialogue is to bring up a point where your characters disagree about something, and have them battle it out. It's exciting, it showcases the personality of the two characters and their relationship, and moves the plot along all in one go.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I hope that helps. Enjoy.

Sources:
Adams, Douglas. The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. Print.
Lawless, John. Personal interview. 13 Sept. 2010. (This is my English teacher)
Ray, Robert J. "Weekend 1 - Character Sketch." The Weekend Novelist. New York, NY: Dell Publishing, 1994. 30. Print.

I'm back!! Not as active, but I'm still back.

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